Soothing His Madness (Bantorus MC #3)

By: Debra Kayn



Only you can love me like I need to be loved, dream the same wacky dreams, and join in on the madness. We’ve done some big things while I wrote this book. We moved to a different state, traveled through five states in hellish weather, and somehow survived going over the mountains with a tire on fire, a cat loose in the truck, and absolutely no room to breathe. We survived and reached our goals, and now it’s time to put those wacky dreams to reality.

Miranda, Luke, Jake, Jimmy

May you always win at the pool table, be shifty at poker, rock to the classics, and outdrink everyone. Most parents would tell their kids how proud they are, and I am. But, life is about living and you’re no longer young kids in which I need to remind you to grow up and be good people.

Ride fast and free, fight for your freedoms, protect your family, and most of all…love. Don’t ever stop loving.


It’s a lifestyle. It’s an attitude. It’s badassery at its best.

Chapter One

One beer bottle after another smashed into the brick wall inside the bar of Cactus Cove, landing in a sickening shower of glass. Taylor strained against Torque’s hold, trying to reach Slade before he hurt himself. The Bantorus Motorcycle Club member holding her back was too strong, too big, and too stubborn to break away from.

Her heart shattered along with the bottles over the pain etched on Slade’s face. His brown hair wild and free from the ponytail he’d worn to court stuck to the sides of his face. The tie and jacket were gone, and his dress shirt hung tattered on his shoulders from where he’d attempted to rip off the offending clothes he’d purchased only for his appearance in court.

“Honey, no,” she screamed. “Stop, please.”

The judge ruled in favor of Slade’s ex-wife. He lost full custody of his boys and everything he lived for. Taylor had believed the outcome would be different. How could a stranger decide the fate of Slade’s life when the judge didn’t understand how much he loved his kids?

“Let the man hate the world,” Torque whispered in her ear. “Stopping him now is only going to make him explode later when his clubs not around to save his ass.”

Slade bashed his head against the brick. She sagged in Torque’s hold, unable to watch, but unwilling to look away in case Slade realized she was there for him. An ache like nothing she’d ever experienced before squeezed her heart. She wanted to change the outcome for him or make sure he never gave up trying to win custody.

He’d worried, stressed, and agonized over the last two years, afraid Jodie would win custody if he messed up, and she’d supported him every step of the way, because he was the best father to his kids. He lived and breathed for his boys.

They’d kept their relationship secret, because Slade was afraid Jodie would use Taylor against Slade, so she’d taken every clandestine late night visit when the kids had a babysitter and Slade snuck away to be with her. She’d cherished those stolen moments, while he fought the good fight of trying to gain full custody of his two boys, Lee and Kurt. She’d willingly accepted that their relationship would never go beyond friendship in the eyes of the Bantorus MC or the outside world.

She loved Slade more for putting his boys first in his life.

“Oh my God, he’s going to kill himself.” She jerked in Torque’s arms. “Stop him.”

Slade punched the wall, the counter, yelling in agony. Taylor’s legs collapsed, and Torque picked her up as she buried her head in the biker’s leather vest to muffle her scream.

She needed him.

The Children needed their father.

How could the judge give Slade’s ex-wife, Jodie, custody and Slade end up with every other weekend in his children’s lives?

None of it made any sense. He’d proven himself. He worked at Shift’s garage in town and for the club. Child support came first before beer, motorcycle parts, and living life.

“Sh, sweetheart.” Torque carried her into Rain Brookshire’s office and sat her down on the couch. “I’ll bring you a drink.”

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around her waist. “Please, go stop him from hurting himself more.”

Torque looked at his boots before meeting her gaze. “Bantorus members have his back. You need to calm down, and then I’ll have one of the other girls drive you home.”

“I can’t leave.” She stood on shaky legs. “I need to stay with Slade. I just need to talk with him.”

“When a man’s whole world is stripped away from him, he needs space. Let him be, sweetheart. The brothers will stick by him tonight.” Torque waited until she nodded, and then he slipped out of the room.

Hollow inside, she only wanted to go out and comfort Slade. He needed someone, and keeping her relationship with him secret was no longer her top priority. The judge had made his decision, and now she’d help him accept the vicissitudes in his life.

Slade and his boys meant everything to her. Even before she became involved with Slade, she’d watched Lee and Kurt grow up within the Bantorus MC. Another sob wracked her body. She mourned for the kids. They called Taylor their aunt, just like they did with the other women in the club. That connection made her feel like part of the MC, even though it was by association only.